Sunday, 11 January 2015

What's been happening

To follow on from my previous post at the end of November, nothing has stopped. Sad to say that my father-in-law passed away on Christmas Eve at the care home, just a couple of weeks after his 97th birthday. We have to say he did jolly well and lived a pretty full life until a couple of years ago, even though his mobility was restricted.  He was as sharp witted as ever until his final decline, and we have to be grateful he is released from his suffering and rests in peace.
However as I hinted at in my previous post, all the bits have hit the fan and I have been trying to sort them out with my mother-in-law.  I have sorted through three large carrier bags full of envelopes but not managed to file them all yet. Mother-in-law cannot cope with the paperwork from a husband who loved to dabble in the stock market but had no book-keeper or accountant and also kept every scrap of paper going back for years (and years). I've no idea which accounts are current, or sold, or changed names or… you get the picture. Of course when my husband was made executor he was fully capable of managing it, but since his stroke, he has less idea about what to do than me.  We are getting some professional advice.  I am doing my best to build in a bit of time for myself, and hopefully things will slow down a bit, soon.

I am really looking forward to my long weekend break in a fortnight, at Wyboston Lakes, a stitch retreat with Hilary Beattie, it may not be restful, but it will be wonderful to have a complete break from stocks and shares. Meanwhile I had a hankering to make some sea themed bunting, I've managed a sketchbook version. Hopefully it will make it onto fabric.

When sharing my state of affairs with my hairdresser, I said I was coping by saying to myself that I only have to tackle things one step at a time, and he added to make sure some of those are dance steps, which I thought was a great bit of advice. 
So one step at a time, and a with little skip every now and again I leave you with this thought … get your paperwork up to date! (I promise to do mine when I've finished with this lot - really!)
Have a good week 


busybusybeejay said...

we had a similar thing last year when my step mother died.It turned out my husband and my brother were executors.They had not been asked.We were handed her financial affairs in three carrier bags,all mixed up.We had to sell the house,my childhood home,which was full of "stuff".My father died in 1981 so Jean had been in the house a long time.None of us lived locally which made it even more difficult.After we had sorted it out we came and sorted our own house and finances out!!!Good luck .It takes time but you will get there in the end.Just don't make yourself I'll doing it.Barbarax

vintagerockchick said...

Oh Jill, I'm sorry to hear you have so much to deal with at the moment. Take your time and try not to let it get on top of you, although I realise that is much easier to say, than to do. Thinking of you and wishing you well, most importantly, take care of yourself, Love Gill x

Erica said...

My heart and thoughts go out to you Jill. You have a very wise hairdresser. When the going is tough, remember his advice. And enjoy your weekend workshop!
Kia Kaha.

Jee said...

It's a lesson to learn sooner rather than later. My Mother-in-law's paperwork was in apple pie order but she had appointed a solicitor as joint executor with my husband and me. The result of that was we did an awful lot of the work and they just rubberstamped our efforts, everything had to go back and forth to be signed by a third party and their rates were 0.5% of the estate as well as normal fees.
There is a lot of very good information on the HMRC site online and we know we could have managed it all without the solicitors, even probate. As it was, the whole thing took over a year during which we had to finance several things that she had arranged to do with a rented flat and pay a lot of bills. Once a bank account is frozen, they will only pay tax or funeral expenses and it ceases to gain interest until probate or letters of administration are granted.
Take it one step at a time is the best advice and I do like the hairdresser variation. Very best wishes.

Gina said...

A lesson for us all. Keep skipping Jill and enjoy your weekend away. Xx

Ali H said...

As they say on Strictly - keep dancing ! My husband has been supporting his mother since her husband dies in July so we know just how you feel ! Love your bunting - the artwork & the colours are beautiful. Hope you have a super stitch retreat ! Ali x

Printed Material said...

My thoughts are an echo of everyone else's Jill. Sorry to read your news but 97 is a good innings as you say. Good luck sorting the paperwork! From what I know of Hilary, via reading Steph's blog, I think you'll have a whale of a time on your long weekend. About time for some r&r by the sounds of it. Take care and keep dancing!

Barb Cady said...

Thinking of you Jill. I know we've never met but I always read your blog and feel I know a little of you through your art. I hope you have a splendid break, it sounds a wonderful workshop. I love your bunting, so clever to bring a piece of the coast into your life at the moment. Good luck with the paperwork, I hate it too but will take your advice! Best wishes, Barb x

Anna said...

Sorry for your loss but a long life to be celebrated.
This year I hope to deal with paperwork on a monthly basis and it's a reminder to keep it to a minimum. Good luck with all you have to deal with.
Love the bunting, I nearly booked on the HB course but decided \i had too much to do already; have fun!

Emma said...

Goodness, I'm just catching up & know that it is a good idea not to leave the same mess for our kids. I think the idea of a dance step for every few 'steps at a time' is the best advice. Hope things are still improving x