Thursday, 10 December 2009

Knotted breath

Last year, a few months after I stopped teaching I had a few health issues, one being trouble with my breathing.  I had always been a bit wheezy but this was a rather frightening episode linked to damaging some nerves in my upper back. It was even suggested I was having panic attacks. I am now on a daily regime of inhalers  but like many asthmatics vulnerable to chest infections.  I had drawn the figure above when I was feeling really bad, I wanted to convey the feel of restricted breath.  Earlier this year I scanned and enlarged it using it in one of my journals which have been instrumental in helping me evolve my new life-style. I found it very difficult to let go and allow myself the indulgence of exploring myself, so a pictured like this represents a lot more than a physical restriction. Sharing it with the world on my blog is another step.
I have a cough right now which always makes my back vulnerable and consequently I have pulled a muscle which I have done before.  I am well equipped with ice-packs, heat pads and a support belt and hope to be back to normal soon. I'm not looking for sympathy, but hope my picture conveys the desperate feeling of having to work at taking a breath both physcally and metaphorically.